


Swords and Edges

by Sheneya



Category: Constantine (TV)
Genre: Dark, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Minor Injuries, PTSD John, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 03:50:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17821313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheneya/pseuds/Sheneya
Summary: Chas only knows what he knows.





	Swords and Edges

Chas doesn’t understand a lot of the things in his life. He believes in magic, living with his mother and later John Constantine kind of gets you over any lingering doubts you might have about THAT, but he doesn’t understand it, not really.

He believes in John. Something John himself has trouble understanding, let alone everyone else around them. He thinks the only person besides him and Zed who understood how they felt was poor Gary. But he doesn’t understand him.

He had a rough childhood, but he knew it was nothing like John’s. He was there when Astra… when Astra disappeared, but he wasn’t a part of it the way John had been. He didn’t understand why John had gone to Ravenscar afterwards either. But he’d wait until John was ready to come out.

He would have waited longer, if John hadn’t been pushed out.

He didn’t understand why John asks to be tucked in so tightly it felt like being tied down after a bad case, he just pulls the sheets and blankets as tight as possible and does it.

The only time he doesn’t do what John wanted, was when he knew the other man was trying to injure himself. It’s the only time John ever injures HIM, when John is falling to pieces and Chas refuses to let him reach for death. Like thick leather straps, Chas’s arms pin John’s to his sides as he whimpers and howls and screams and cries. And John’s fingers dig into Chas’s forearms, digging bloody grooves as he tries to pry himself free.

As he tried to go for the knife… the pills… the gun.

Chas never lets him go. Chas doesn’t understand, not at all, but he knows that if he lets go of John when he’s like this, he’s letting go forever.

So when John finally calms and falls into a restless sleep, Chas carries him to bed and tucks him in extra firmly before pulling up a chair for the night and taking out the box of bandaids he’s learnt to keep tucked in John’s side drawer.

Chas doesn’t think this is healthy for John, or for him. But John’s had enough of Institutions and Chas has no idea what else to do.

So he just does what he can.


End file.
